went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize