Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
