My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
