benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
