Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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