the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
