I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
