This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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