WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
