u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
