Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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