I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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