Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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