you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
