I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
