i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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