Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
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the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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