Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
