Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
