guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
