You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
