quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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