Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
