I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
