And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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