i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
