they need to just BURY HIM!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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