Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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