i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
