well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
