At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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