i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
