Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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