I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He felt like a one man threesome
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
