so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
