it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
