I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
