fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
