I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
