addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
