I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
