I wish I could punch you in the face.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
