I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
