Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
