she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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