they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize