New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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