i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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