it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
