Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i don't like sucking hair
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
