he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sorry about my life...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
