come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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