i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
