I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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