i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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