Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
