I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
