I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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