walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
