Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
