considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
