plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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