I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Mom said you looked used
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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