I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
