i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
