"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
