You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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